Experimental Magick

I wonder if they'll slip through my fingers like grains of sand. Will I lose them too? Will I lose everything? I can feel myself wanting to be better but even when I try apart of me rebels against it, wanting to be alone, to be apart. I hate this indecision.

I want to blame the way I was raised. I want to say that no one gave me as much as I should've gotten. But others have gotten far worse. There's no excuse. I've lost one friend; will I lose another?

Today was useless. They float around in my head like restless mothmen, but when I try to hold onto them, they flitter away. Bastards. How can they torment me like this? What have I done?

A scarab beatle is trying to eat its way out of my hand. Everything is myth; some are forgotten and others remembered. Will I be remembered? Just a fond memory: remember when...And the laugh track rolls.